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"The Foundation?" part in my site header you ask? 

Oh, you didn't ask? Oh, well...

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Foundation?

About a month ago, when I started to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, I reached out to several people, friends and others, to discuss ideas I had. 

Things I wanted to do, things I could use some help or input.
 

Some asked for details - irrelevant ones. 
 

Others offered their 2 cents, although I didn't ask for that. 
 

Yet others expressed they don't understand what I am trying to do, or outright questioned it. 
None of them were happy with me not feeling the need to explain everything to them. 
Most of them feeling like they were entitled to that, like I owed them this much. 

At no point did I ask them "do you think what I am doing is a good/bad idea, right/wrong way to go about it, and so on..."

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But that's all they really understood - me not asking them these questions - and having to answer those for them. 

 

There's also a number of them that were too pre-occupied with their own mess to take the time. Maybe they're the ones that could use help. Let them do the decent thing and ask... 
If any of them came to conclusion that I was "a bit confused at the time" - they'd made a very good case. They confused the fuck out of me.

Now, here's another thing - many of them are entrepreneurial themselves...

Self-made men and women (yeah, I argue that all of those I spoke with identify as one or the other...)

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If I ask you about "G" - a topic I am stuck with. Why do you need me to explain what "A-F" and "H + fuck knows what are".

I didn't call you to explain myself - I called you because I thought you could help my find the answer.

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I don't need to justify to you why I favoured "C" over "N".

Get your own employees to answer such questions.

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If I tell you, my friend, that "I got D covered" why do question me with "did you consider the aspects D_1, D_4 etc.?"
 

Which part of "I got D covered" does not already answer that?

 

I appreciate you're concerned, though. I really do. 

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The bummer is, if I were your boss and asked for your opinion, and didn't like it, all I'd give you return would be "duly noted". That's polite for "fuck off" or "mind your own bs". 

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If I hired you as a consultant - I could fire you, and find someone more willing to tell me what I want to hear.

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However, if I am your friend, I can't say that... 

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As a friend I have to listen to you. On my time.

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That's the price I have to pay for friendship. 

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Nothing comes for free - not even free advice.

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Now here's the thing - none of the people I spoke with, to my knowledge, are writing for a living or running a foundation, or do anything to that extent. 

Considering that, they seemed to have a sale in the "if I were you... " department.

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Most of it was probably the reasons they never pursued the same goal as I. 

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You have to appreciate that. Where you like it or not. 

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They meant to mean well - I can't hold that against them. 

 

If you're by this point thinking this sounds frustrating? All bad?

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You'd be right. And wrong.

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There's a few folks that went "I am not sure what exactly you have in mind - but I am happy to help you. Give us a call when you got the pieces together." 

I am sorry if they had high hopes for me. Like fuck.

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I even sought professional help. Like from an institution. A group of experts. Pay for some guidance on questions I could not find answers to on my end.

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Their advice - in a nutshell:
"If you want to go small, donate to existing charities - it's the most convenient - for everyone.

If you want to go big - first thing is you need 50k - that's usually the minimum starting point.

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Not even for the advertised consulting fee they would be willing to explain that to me.

They  could or would not explain what "usually" means.

 

Maybe there's usually no benefit to them.

 

All that said, I kept the "Foundation?" in the header - as a series of personal jokes, my own running gag:
- in the beginning I put it there because me being involved with charity sounds questionable at best.
- nothing was sure -  leaving it open to change to "Foundation!" when things got off the ground.
- now it's mostly there, as a reminder or a relic or an intention - and as one big joke
- throughout all this, it always remained: an idea

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That header is also the only thing I left after I decided to use the homepage as a platform to write on. 

 

And thus the whole sentence became something else. 

 

The foundation to my writing. 

 

The possibility of it being the foundation of what might become a foundation at a later point. 

Personally - I like that a lot more... 

 

And if anyone asks "so you operate a foundation?" the answer is simple: "Absolutely - I run a foundation with a question mark. And don't ask me about charity."

 

And to those wondering "well, what would do with the foundation, if it because a real thing?" I have but one thing to say: "seeing is believing".

Meaning, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Even if I could be arsed to explain myself

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In conclusion - you're well within your rights to assume I am feeling bitter about the whole ordeal - and crash your train of thoughts there. You're free to do what you will with your trains of thought.

Not going to hold that against you. Not going to let that hold me back.

Feedback is an important part of growing.

 

As is listening to a question and answering.

 

As is offering an opinion when you're asked.

 

Don't confuse or mix these things up - it can get messy.

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I didn't know it at the time - but naming this 'project' as I did, seemed like a better choice than "What Simon's acquaintances think he should do".

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Apart from sounding better in my head - it also sounds like the better idea. 

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For me. 

 

Anyways.

 

For better or worse - it's what I do.

 

It's what I do that defines me - I learnt that from a friend of a friend. 

 

From someone I could never speak with. 

 

A dead friend.